Independent Women

Dear Mum,

Chivalry is dead. And good riddance to it.

I realise that, perhaps, I wouldn’t be complaining if all men stood aside to let me first board the tube of a morning, or if waiters called me “my lady” as opposed to “ma’am” (which has occurred a few too many times of late).

But I like the female/male dynamic offered by the society I exist in. I like the fact that I can tell male colleagues that I dislike the tone of voice that they just spoke to me with and I can knee them in the doogles if they make presumptive correlations between by mood and that time of the month.

Kate and I get this female independence from you. Not the kneeing in the doogles bit. I mean the giving the verbal middle finger bit. We definitely inherited your girl power attitude.

This isn’t to say that I’m burning my bra. I simply resent being patronised and defined by my sex. Basically, the behaviour displayed by male characters toward female characters in ‘Mad Men.’

Like I said, I’m not complaining – chivalry in all its sexist glory is defunct...

Most of the time...

But every now and then these patriarchal attitudes manage to deviously sneak their way into male and even female attitudes.

For example, any time you, Kate or I lift Grandma’s packed suitcase when she comes to stay. She always shrieks, “Do be careful! I don’t want you doing yourself a mischief.”

Never mind that she herself, a frail 80 year old woman, got it this far.

I don’t find it offensive, I find it condescending. I’m an adult, and a healthy one at that, who is well practiced in moving suitcases and boxes between home and university.

Believe it or not I can lift a finger to help outside of the kitchen.

And so what if I burp? It’s only natural and no-one remarks “how ungentlemanly” if a guy does it. In fact, guys clap one another on the back in congratulation for their oral digestive emissions.

A society that denies my right to help someone lift objects because of my sex? A society without the freedom to declare my female thoughts and opinions, say, in a public diary or blog?

I’d rather open doors for myself thanks.