Atishoo, Atishoo

Dear Mum,

I type this as I clutch a hot water bottle to my body. The season of runny noses approaches and, to your relief I’m sure, I’m doing my utmost to avoid colds and viruses that are beginning to plague the nation.

I slight tickle in my throat inspired my advantage card and I to dance around the aisles of Boots at the weekend and stock up on potions. 

Paracetamol, tissues, Soothers, cough medicine and Lemsip galore were tossed into my basket.

I did not overlook, of course, First Defence. Which our family will never be able to forget since the time you wrote ‘First Response for Lucy’ on Dad’s shopping list.  It was not funny at the time.

When it comes to feeling poorly I’m game for anything pumping around my body to better the situation (Vodka included).

My best friend, Nat, swears by paracetamol and codeine tablets. On discovering codeine was the sister pharmaceutical drug of heroine, Nat’s boyfriend made her stop taking it.

Swearing it improved any ailment (understandable on account of its origins) she proceeded to take it behind his back.  

Perhaps it was wrong to ignore someone who is only concerned for your welfare. But I understood that, when you feel utterly ghastly, you’d (grudgingly) kiss a pigeon if it was going to make you feel well again.

And this is where my purse strings are not only loosened but well thumbed. I’ll pay pretty much anything for medicinal items and I don’t understand those who won’t.

Take the holy grail of medicines; Night Nurse. It may be thirteen times the cost of a box of paracetamol tablets but a night with Night Nurse is like taking ambrosia with the Gods.

If I’m honest, I’ve taken Night Nurse even if I just fancy a good solid night’s sleep. Once I took it before an exam just to ensure I wouldn’t lie awake for hours contemplating the language of Browning’s poetry.

My friends used to tease me that Night Nurse was my alter-ego.

So you’ve nothing to fear, Mum. My bedside cabinet is chock-a-block with pharmaceutical goodies and that will last me throughout the winter.

Night Nurse stands conveniently and invitingly at the front...