Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake

Dear Mum,

Yesterday was the boyfriend’s birthday and I felt it was my obligation to bake him a cake. I have made many a cupcake and many a biscuit but never before a single, plump, glorious, must-be-good-else-everyone-chomping-on-your-creation-will-know-you’re-a-fraud, cake.

I turned to your classic Victoria sponge recipe. Simple enough – flour, sugar, eggs, margarine, baking powder. Done.

In actual fact, mine was a little over done. I followed every recipe instruction meticulously, including preheating the oven beforehand - something I usually forget.

I painstakingly measured every ingredient, remembered to grease the tins, and in the meantime the oven grew roasty toasty.

The timer tooted after the twenty-five minutes the recipe specified. Sadly, the two arches were a little dark and crispy on the curve.

I flipped them to hide their imperfections. I even made buttercream to accompany the raspberry centre and sifted a little icing sugar on top.

I teased you a few weeks ago during your scone-making operation. But the chaos in the kitchen was reasonable – fifty beautiful scones, a batch of coffee and walnut cupcakes and a Victoria sponge.

And yet my single sponge created mayhem. Butter and margarine greased every surface, the countless utensils and bowls I employed stacked to the height of the overhead cabinets and I burnt my finger on one of the cake tins.

The conclusion was a slightly off-colour teetering cake. And I’ve never been prouder of myself.

On presenting it to the boyfriend, adorned with candles and a flushed girlfriend he was suitably touched and impressed.

The great thing about the boyfriend is he appreciates food and will eat just about anything. He continuously ‘mmmed’ over the cake and nodded while he chewed. And they say men can’t multitask.

“It might be a little dry and burnt around the edges.” But he would hear none of it.

I am far from being a domestic goddess. Yet with the plant watering, ironing and baking I’m doing in your absence I would say I’m a goddess-in-training.

I hasten to add I’m exhausted. On which note, I’m off for a brew and a lie-down. x x x