Don’t stop till you get enough

Dear Mum,

Your daughter has an addiction. A time-consuming, merciless compulsion.

To complete crosswords.

I was introduced to the cryptic word puzzle at work. My internship colleagues start a crossword at lunchtime and hope to have completed it, often with some help from others, by the end of that day.

In an attempt to bond with them, and score a few brownie points along the way, I have endeavoured to decode the odd clue. My moment of glory was 16 across; ‘Shakespearean heroine,’ 6 letters... Portia?

Ding Ding Ding!!

Aware that this single and slightly nerdy contribution might not earn me the abundance of friends I hope for, I have taken to the morning paper with a never before experienced enthusiasm for word games.

Seemingly innocent but now I cannot stop.

I’m sure this is a relief to you. Your daughter, knowingly feeling a tad vulnerable being unemployed and recently single, is addicted to puzzles, which is far preferable to illicit substances and online gambling sites.

This new relationship is not, however, healthy.

The torn out crossword and I go everywhere together. Bleary eyed on the train of a morning, snuggled up in front of the sofa, brushing my teeth in the evening. Always balanced on my knee and receiving my greedy glances, like my filthy secret.

I am unable to concentrate on my friends’ conversation as my mind is really thinking “3 down = ‘praise or honour,’ 5 letters...?

I am preoccupied by achievable yet elusive clues, meaning I don’t realise that it has started to rain and my umbrella lies redundant in my bag.

Yesterday, Dad and I discussed FIFA’s choice to allow the England team to wear poppies in their match against Spain. Dad was puzzled when I ‘casually’ interrupted the tête-à-tête to ask “Can you think of any south eastern Spanish cities, six letters long, ending with an ‘A’?”

This newfangled relationship not only consumes my time but toys with my emotions.

I fume at the crossword’s way of keeping me guessing with its vague clues, that it’s me alone that puts the hard work in, that the crossword does not appear to recognise or react to my emotional condition.

Yet I cannot resist going back to it and putting myself through the emotions once more.

I think I need a bit of a break. After all, there are plenty more puzzles in the sea – Sudoku, Codeword and Clockword to name but a few.